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Around 60% of Americans feel like they're hiding or downplaying something about themselves at work, leaving them feeling "emotionally drained," according to a 2023 study from Deloitte and New York University.

But some trailblazers have helped make it easier to be authentic at work. Ruth Jacks, the head of Diverse Segments for Commercial Banking at Wells Fargo, shared her own coming-out story on Yahoo Finance's Living Not So Fabulously podcast.

"There was a period where I have to admit I was uncomfortable," Jacks said about the experience (see video above or listen below), "but it was necessary."

Before working for Wells Fargo, Jacks began her career in engineering, though she found herself hiding her LGBTQ identity from her predominantly white male colleagues. Despite growing up with two mothers, she admitted to still feeling hesitant to come out in her workplace.

"I could be incognito, like I could walk around and be in stealth mode, where I could choose to share who I was and what I was or not," Jacks said. "Not all of us have that choice."

"I was petrified because I had been living this life that was a lie," she continued. "What I thought was, 'What will they think of me when they realize I have not been telling the truth?' ... I was more concerned about the integrity of honesty than my orientation."

It wasn't until her brother passed away that she decided she no longer wanted to hide herself. She explained she initially came out to three people at work before opening up to more of her colleagues.

"When he was gone, I just said I would never ever again be in the position where someone believed they couldn't talk to me," she said. "So if it meant being an open book so that no one else felt like they were the only one ... then that's who I was going to become."

One of the key things Jacks advocated for during her conversation with David and John Auten-Schneider on the podcast was surrounding oneself with a positive community, which can make difficult steps — like coming out at work — easier.

"I think it's so important who you surround yourself with," Jacks shared. "The people that are your friends, the colleagues that you associate with and spend time with — it's so critical that you have an environment that is supportive and positive and affirmative."

Although her initial experiences after sharing her truth with her colleagues made it easier to be herself, Jacks still admitted that she was "really, really scared." Not every worker will feel that they have the ability to come out to their colleagues, but this is where one's community can make all the difference.

"There are too many options to drive and generate income to be stuck with a boss that is either disrespectful or whatever they are," Jacks said. "I think you have to be smart around the decisions you make, which is also why having a network around you that can help you through it is important, but I do think we all have choices."

"I have to admit, I'm not always comfortable with just being out and proud," Jacks said. "But I'm so comfortable just being me, that that's just a part of who I am."

Every Wednesday, dive into real money stories from the LGBTQ community with podcast hosts David and John Auten-Schneider. You can find more episodes on our video hub or watch on your preferred streaming service.

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